I have been playing that Frankie Valli classic from the seventies "Greece is the word" due to the excitement of playing AEK Athens on our way to the UEFA Cup Final. I was so relieved that Hibs were taking a cautious and sensible approach to these games and their preparations began in earnest against Celtic. In the knowledge that there was an AEK spy watching the Celtic game Alex McLeish ordered the team to make it look as though they had never played football in their lives. This was a masterstroke which succeeded totally, the man is a genius. It is to Martin O'Neill's credit that he too was prepared to go along with this scam as his players contributed by making our heroes look like bumbling buffoons. The spy left at half time under the illusion that he had seen enough and had no idea, as he walked up Easter Road laughing like an idiot, that he had been duped. Needless to say the second half was played in the proper manner and, as you would expect, Hibs defeated Celtic 1-0. A good day's work when all is said and done.

The only sour note on the day was the bampot who leapt out of the East Stand to verbally abuse the linesman for not spotting that Chris Sutton was a mile offside for the third goal. The club asked the fans to identify the aforementioned twat so they could deal with him in the proper manner. It is reassuring that Hibs want to be seen as being 'Tough on crap stewarding - Tough on the causes of crap stewarding' Sadly, due to the awful events elsewhere, the trip to Greece was put back a week and we could only hope that the AEK spy did not attend the Dunfermline game as he would have seen just how brilliant the Hibees truly are. I can't remember the score in Greece but we should have won.

The surprise of the UEFA Cup tournament has to be that Rangers were drawn against the previously unheard of Aznhi Makhachkala. It must be a daunting prospect for players when they have to travel thousands of miles to an inhospitable land to play a game of football. By all accounts they were to visit an extremely volatile, violent and dangerous place. A place of abject poverty completely devoid of culture where gangs rule the streets and outsiders are terrorised indiscriminately. It is no surprise that the players and fans were reluctant to make the trip as putting lives at risk for a football match is taking things too far. I suppose we should also spare a thought for Rangers as they were expected to travel to Dagestan. Nevertheless, the tie should have been a marvellous opportunity for Andre Kanchelskis to prove his worth to Rangers and repay them for throwing buckets of cash at him in the vain hope that he might actually play a decent game for once as he would have been able to order the beer and kebabs.

What do we do about our national disgrace? No, I don't mean the litter-strewn streets of Edinburgh, I am referring to the Scottish Football Team. After England's flukey win over an under-strength, injury ravaged Germany Craig Brown claimed that Scotland did not have the luxury of fast forwards who could get behind opposition defences so we had to use the same old crocks who had been playing for years. I suppose the idea of using Tom McManus and Kenny Millar would not have occured to him as both these players are under thirty-five. Every other country seems to have young players who bring passion and excitement to the game and we have, well, Scott Booth.

Personally, my choice for Brown's replacement would be Jim Leishman. He has been successful at every club he has managed and is a proven motivator who can inspire team spirit and a will to win in average players. A definite advantage given the deadbeats he would inherit in the present Scotland squad.