As a good and faithful season ticket holder at Easter Road I have been sent the renewal details for next season. This came in the form of a glossy brochure with Mr McLeish's grinning face on the front and a promise that every pound earned on season ticket sales would be spent on the pitch. Hopefully this means players, not grass seed and gardening implements, are to be purchased but we will just have to wait and see.

I was most dismayed when I saw how the seats in the new West Stand had been divided up as that's where I intend to sit next season. As you know the prime spot at any football match is above the centre line, so what have Hibs done? You guessed it, the upper centre section of the new stand is to go to the corporate fat cats and the hospitality free-loaders. Isn't it just typical that the best seats in the house will not go to Hibs supporters? The club should remember to put up signs in this section to inform the patrons that they are at a football match and Hibs are the team in green. To give the club a bit of credit they are to be applauded for the reduced prices on offer to kids though even at that I doubt we will manage to fill the stadium. As usual I will grumble about the price but once I have sold my bairns into slavery and auctioned the contents of my wife's underwear drawer I will happily buy my seat and look forward to next season. I will resist the urge to tell you how much I'm paying for my ticket as you will think I either have far too much money or I'm a bit daft. Suffice to say I expect my seat to have fluffy cushions and waitress service offering croissants, wine and 'extras'.

Do you remember Russell Latapy? He was a gifted and much loved player who lit up the lives of Hibs fans everywhere. Sadly, in January he was taken by aliens and replaced with a spineless, lazy individual who was lacking in integrity and responsibility to his fellow players and fans. Like all other players consumed by their own egos he will be missed for a nano-second by the fans who will still be there long after he is gone.

How's this for a cracking David Beckham true story. David was in a department store when he saw an item which intrigued him. He was told it was a thermos flask. He asked what it was for and it was explained that "It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold" David bought himself one and took it to his next training session where his chums were most impressed with it and listened intently as he explained that it kept hot things hot and cold things cold. "What have you got in it" asked Roy Keane, to which David proudly replied "Two cups of coffee and a choc ice"

As you are reading this column in June the Cup Final has come and gone but sadly I am unable to write about it. "Why not?" I hear you cry. Let me explain. I have to send my masterpiece in on the 20th of the month in order for the paper to hit the streets on the 1st of the following month. Now, like you I was wondering why, in the digital age, it takes about the average length an Italian government is in power to produce a newspaper? Two hundred years ago the Pony Express could deliver American mail coast to coast in ten days and today you could go to the moon for a short break and return in the same time. So, I guess that on May 26th Hibs won the Cup - or maybe they didn't.

I have decided that I would like to do something a bit different during the fitba' free time this year so hopefully the editor will get me to do some restaurant reviews, taste various brands of beer, test drive some flash cars and do an indepth study of a massage parlour. Wish me luck. Last year I had a job inflating the tyres on aeroplanes but I had to give it up. Too much pressure.