Isn't the French version of the Coupe de Monde just absolutely fab? The first game when Brazil took on the mighty Scotland was so full of drama and thrills that I thought ma heid was going to burst with the tension. That feeling of anticipation that one gets whenever Brazilians are playing, the repertoire of skills they demonstrate to us mere mortals is, at times, quite breathtaking. The famous yellow strip, the dazzling footwork, blink and you would think you were watching Hibs. While I would be among the first to recognise the superiority of the Brazilians the hero worship bestowed on them by the commentating teams can be quite nauseating. The Brazil v Morocco game was an example of slavish obsequiousness from Kevin Keegan and Brian Moore that fair put me off my dinner.

Scotland got off to a typical start by losing the first game yet being glorious in defeat. The game against Norway was the one we should have won but, of course, we could only draw, leaving us needing a victory in the final game against Morocco to qualify for the next stage. How many times have Scotland been in this situation before and managed to valiantly snatch defeat from the jaws of victory? We always hear the same old cliches when Scotland compete at the highest level. The most often expressed statement seems to be "DISASTER FOR SCOTLAND". The commentators observation that really ticks me off is "ANOTHER LONG BALL FROM CALDERWOOD GOES ASTRAY", or even worse, "THERE'S ANOTHER RECKLESS LUNGE FROM JACKSON".

I have only missed a couple of the televised games so far yet I have noticed a definite and highly predictable pattern appearing. It seems that no matter which two teams are playing and regardless of how the game is developing it will only take five minutes before the commentators are discussing England and comparing the strikers they are watching with Alan Shearer. This is usually followed by a dewey-eyed reminiscence of England's victory in 1966. The way the English commentators waffle on it would have seemed sensible for FIFA just to give the cup to England at the outset and everyone else could then go on holiday. I must say that, for me, the highlight of the tournament has to be England's gubbing by Rumania. The aforementioned Kevin Keegan assured us that Rumania were happy to hold on for a draw and that the only team capable of winning the game was England. Oh how we laughed in my house at the eventual outcome.

I don't wish to appear sexist but have you noticed how even the women are getting right behind football now. A female friend of mine has become a bit of a football anorak recently and is slowly but surely building up an understanding of the beautiful game. Obviously womens minds are not sufficiently developed enough to cope with the intricacies of the offside rule but if us blokes keep it simple to start with then maybe anything is possible. My friend and I were discussing the merits of the games we had seen and I asked her which team she thought was the best so far. After some deliberation she surprised me by opting for Chile. "Why's that" I asked, "Well" said she "They are really good looking and some have nice bums". She also went on to include Austria and Mexico in her list of most fancied teams for much the same reasons. The realisation dawned on me that we are not quite out of the supermarket yet.